Comparison is the Thief of Joy! Lessons learned at the Crossfit Gym

At the beginning of the year I really stepped up my workout routine, and started attending a Crossfit class two night a week at The Fitwell Center, and personal training two mornings a week.  I took a week off during Spring Break  while Makayla was visiting, and boy did I feel it last week. That is where this comes quote comes into play. We were doing burpees and plank lifts (Looks pretty intimidating doesn't it?) and I just wasn't able to do either one of these two exercises, mind you that night we did seven other equally as challenging Crossfit moves. I looked around the room, while I was struggling with these two moves, and noticed that all the others in the class seemed to be doing the exercises just fine. I felt like a complete loser, like I wanted to quit. I was done. I wasn't going to do this anymore. But, I am committed to my gym in more than one way, so I couldn't just quit. Had it been another time, another gym, that night might have been it for me.

Then yesterday during my personal training session, I realized that I was comparing myself to the others in the class. I had forgotten that I had completed seven other equally challenging Crossfit moves. I had let my energy go to a bad place by not focusing on what I had done, and focusing on comparing myself with others in the class.  And, I realized that I had wallowed in self pity for a several days by comparing myself to others. Then I discerned that I can only compare myself to me, not to anyone else. It seems in the past I have had the tendency to see that I wasn't doing something "perfect" and then quit. In my mind if I couldn't do every exercise "perfect" then the whole workout was a sham, nothing, a bomb, for nothing. I see now that is so wrong. I worked out that night to the best of my abilities, and for that I can be proud.

Today at my coaching session with my Wanda, my Best Year Yet Coach, I realized that comparing myself to others had taken away my joy - not just for that night but for several days.  I recognized that everyone has a story, everyone is different. Just because I couldn't do THOSE exercises THAT night doesn't make me a failure.  As I contemplated more I discovered that many suffer from this phenomenon, others may be comparing themselves to other mothers, co- workers, other students, other wives, other husbands, other children, other runners, the list goes on and on all with the same devastating result of killing ones joy. We are all special with special gifts and talents, abilities and skill levels, years of practice, hours of learning, etc. We are all at a different place a different chapter in our lives.

We all started somewhere on our journey whether it be a health and fitness journey or another journey.  Or in some cases, like mine, we started over somewhere. It just hit me that is part of my comparison. I was comparing myself today to my former self and fitness level.  That is another part of my lesson: compare yourself to the best version you can be NOW, not the best replica of another person. By this I also mean compare yourself to what the best version of yourself in this time and space. I think I am also struggling with the fact that I used to be in much better shape, and I was much, much thinner and stronger. Then it hit me that I need to not compare myself today to myself many years ago. I need to do the best I can today with who I am today. And, progress will come.

Don't get me wrong that doesn't mean that I'm not going to one day do those burpees and plank lifts, and conquer those duanting box jumps. I will. I am.  I can say for sure that I am never again going to compare myself to anyone else past or present. No more negative energy for this girl (that's a blog for another time). I got this!